don't be white, be good

tonight was quite the adventure. shannon was gone so pete (a new volunteer from London!!) and i were in charge. we made mashed potatoes and chicken etouffee. it as the most inefficient yet successful cooking experience of my life. i started to boil 2 pots of water, one for the etouffe, one for the potatoes. after pealing and cutting the potatoes we started dumping them in but there was too much water- so i laddeled some out. an hour later nothing was boiling so we ended up taking huge buckets of water out of the pot. in the meantime im taking 7 trips to and from the dry storage (your normal kitchen pantry x's 100) getting cup fulls of the etouffe mix- all i was told was to make it thicker than the spaghetti sauce at lunch...soooo pete stirred while i poured in the mix one cup at a time, an hour after that we put the chicken in and had a taste and it was terrible:) soooo what fixes nasty etouffee?? more etouffee mix!!! so i kept pourin, he kept stirring, we kept watching the unboiling potatoes and time quickly ran out. finally the taters were soft so i spooned them out into one pan but there was too much water so we had to then spoon them into another where we could do the mashing. that was done in several stages, then we added frozen milk and butter got the etouffee tasting GOOD and got it on the line right at 5:30! i took a break to go eat and as i walked through the line a guy came up for seconds and said "where's the cook, this is good!"
now the only reason i share that is because it was the EASIEST meal shannon could have left for us to cook but we slightly resembled the three stooges, minus a stooge of course:)

during dinner i sat with a guy named keith. when i was here in april he had introduced himself to me as "keith, keith the laughing guy" he said he was the guy in charge of keeping smiles on peoples faces.

A lot of the folks i've talked to down here are either a little deranged, drinking too much alcohol, keep to themselves, or just generally uneducated. when you think of people in poverty many folks who come to the cafe fit the stereotypical description. well, originally i wrote keith off as, well a nice guy, but a little bit loony. tonight he shattered some of those first impressions i had.

he and i talked about race, life before katrina, class vs. race, double standards, both clintons, jesus christ, and a lot about the bible. the difference between this convo and a few others ive had is 1) keith wasn't ranting, we were actually connecting, and 2) he wasn't pushy on the religion topic. he talked about jesus a lot but not in a way that i felt preached to.

one of the first topics he brought up was the cleanliness of the volunteers here . this place is full of hippies, dreadlocks, dirt, etc. we wear gloves and aprons in the kitchen but it's not uncommon to be fed food by someone who hasn't showered that day...or week. i didnt think about it too much before but one of keith's observations was that this dirty living had to be a white thing... something to think about. then he mentioned the fact that there has been a decline in the number of residents coming to eat here- he thinks it is because of the body odor (halle, any thoughts on that?) and the lack of cleanliness here and that it's white people serving black people, if it were the other way around there would be way more of a problem. keith wasn't making a point about pro black anti white- he was talking about everyday racism or racial issues that exist and how it's hard to bring it up or talk about it because it makes everyone uneasy. eventually he looked at me and said "you be you and i'll be me. dont be white, be good." i guess that would go for anyone. dont be black or brown or white or red be good, be genuine, be true. i wonder if he was the one who wrote the quote pictured above on the bathroom wall...

im getting frustrated because i want to share everything that keith and i talked about but i cant describe it all. he just asked me to help him record a public speech to the community...perhaps i'll get that manuscript and post it since im sure he'll be talking about some of the same things.
i know his dot was speaking to me tho...
what are my thoughts about keith? im a little skeptical about some of his theories or statements but im looking forward to getting to know him better.

i had a pretty lonely day yesterday. leaving cincinnati, coming here, going to florida...it was all so much- i'm thankful and happy for every part but i think being gone finally caught up to me. it was a bit of a roller coaster thinking about being gone in africa for two years. im glad i have this experience to warm me up to being 'gone.' what im realizing tho is that i have the opportunity now to learn a lot about myself.

it's crazy to be out of public allies. i had no idea how it was going to hit me until a few days ago. because i had two years with PA right after college i really knew nothing else. i'd heard about when the time is over how it's difficult to reenter the "real world" but I didn't get it...now i do. it's borderline awful;) you have to be intentional about who you spend time with or you'll be consumed with loneliness. let me change that statement. i have to be intentional with people i surround myself with or i'll go crazy. it's easy to shut down and develop a thick skin towards people and things just to cope with the loneliness- im glad im taking steps in the right direction to be intentional, live out my values, learn more about myself, and mostly listen. i think i've spent a lot of time the past years talking, speaking out, being in the front and now i'm in a space where taking a backseat is important. hopefully i'll find some balance in that.